


It Gets Better

by jovialien



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Homophobia, It Gets Better, M/M, Spirit Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-17
Updated: 2012-08-17
Packaged: 2017-11-12 08:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/489002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jovialien/pseuds/jovialien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack may have been around for a long time but there are some things he just can't understand about the 21st Century</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Gets Better

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the NoH8 Campaign Spirit Day 2010   
> http://www.noh8campaign.com/article/wear-purple-today-to-support-spiritday   
> and originally posted on Livejournal.

“I don't get it!”   
  
Ianto ducked as a file went spinning past his head and resisted the urge to point out the mess Jack was making of his office, all too aware of the simple anger and distress emanating from him. Instead, he moved into the room, hands by his side as he stood by the wall, simply bearing witness to the rant rather than getting involved.    
  
He had rarely seen Jack like this before. Angry, yes, but he usually took that anger out on some _body_ , even if it was the targets in the shooting range or a sparring dummy at the gym rather than his office. He had even seen Jack frustrated before, almost tearing his hair out at the sheer levels of bureaucracy they had to work around every day. But this was different.    
  
Jack was pacing around the office, blind fury on his face as he threw things and generally trashed the place. His sleeves were rolled up and his normally artfully-styled-to-look-casual hair just looked a mess as he ran his fingers through it.   
  
“When is this stupid century going to start making  _sense?_  I mean, the 1800's, sure, it was just the times, they didn't know any better. They had the whole illegality bit going on and being told it was evil, they never stood a chance. And then a new century began, the 20th century, and during the wars, hey, that far from home it happened, but what goes on in battle stays in battle, you know? As long as you could still pick up a gun they would look the other way, even if only whilst your own soldiers shot you in the back if they had a problem with it.”   
  
Ianto stayed silent, trusting Jack to clue him in eventually and grateful the others had already left for the day.   
  
“And after the war, it was rough but things were getting better, slowly but surely. Free love and civil rights and all that was overcoming so many of the old biases. And then the Stonewall riots and all the marching, it was so...” Jack stopped, a strange look coming over his face that Ianto recognised as nostalgia for some long forgotten part of Jack's past. “Inspiring. Ianto, I sometimes wish you could have been there. It was terrifying and dangerous and horrific at times but that feeling, of being at the  _start_  of something so amazing, that humanity was finally ready...”   
  
Ianto smiled slightly, not quite sure how to respond to that, but instead settled for drifting closer to Jack's desk and sitting on the edge, his suit sliding a little on the slick wood as always. Gay rights then. It was then he spotted the newspaper, a smiling young man on the front along with a headline that should never go with such an innocent face.   
  
“And it was so promising, just look how far you've come-”   
  
Ianto tried not to smile at that, used to Jack's occasional lectures about this century and its “quaint” values and labels.   
  
“-there's gay marriages and adoptions and marches and groups just everywhere! The 21st century is when it all gets better Ianto, and we're at the start of something amazing here, and there's so much potential, I just-”   
  
Jack's face darkened and he picked up a pen from the desk and threw it across the room like a dart, watching as it skittered across the floor and under the TV cabinets. “And then something like this happens.  _Still_ . Even with all that possibility ahead of them, even seeing it on TV and in the streets and having some hope ahead they are still so vulnerable and- And... And I...” Ianto moved at last, standing beside Jack and gently placing a hand on his face. “I just don't get it.”   
  
“Which part?” He asked softly, his calm slowly deflating Jack's anger and bringing it under control again. “That anyone would kill themselves over being gay, or that people would still drive them to do it?”   
  
Jack sighed heavily and lowered his face, nuzzling against Ianto's palm just a fraction. “The latter. I... I can sort of get the former. I've seen it too many times not to know how bad it can get. But the... the bullying.” Jack looked at Ianto and it almost broke Ianto's heart to see such confusion there. “I just don't  _understand_  it. I mean, I'm no angel, but to pick on someone over  _that_  it's just... It's like mocking someone for being, I don't know, blonde-”   
  
Ianto wisely decided now was not the time to educate Jack on the ways of young children and teasing, especially about red heads.   
  
“- or for being left handed. It's so-”   
  
“Stupid?” Ianto offered quietly.   
  
“Yeah.” Jack wrapped his arms around Ianto slowly, his body still so tense but relaxing at the touch. “I just wish...”   
  
He trailed off and Ianto shifted in his embrace, hugging him in return and tilting his head to look into Jack's eyes. “What do you wish?”   
  
Ianto could see hundreds of regrets and what ifs swirling in their blue depths and wondered for a moment if in a thousand years time he would be one of them. If all the times he had refused to kiss Jack in public or how awkward he had been on a date would be just one more of a hundred small memories of the way things should have been better, or easier, for them. If the faint trace of hurt Jack never quite managed to hide every time Ianto refused to be more public was less about the present and more about a future world he would never get to see, an acceptance he would never really feel.   
  
Another time, another place...   
  
Jack took a deep breath and shook his head. “I just wish I could tell them. All of them, all the kids out there going through crap like this. I wish I could show them...”   
  
Ianto ran his fingers through Jack's hair gently, wondering just when he had gotten so comfortable in this role, in being what would traditionally be the more feminine role. The boys at school used to tease him something rotten for being girly and not as into rugby or football as they were. Even his dad...   
  
Pushing the thought away, Ianto tried to ignore the uncomfortable memories the conversation was bringing up. The feeling of being so alone, as if no one else in the world would ever understand him, as if there was no point in going on because how could it possibly be worth the fight? He hadn't even really been old enough to care about other boys or even girls back then but he had been different, and that had been enough for the others. Ironically, it wasn't until meeting Jack that he had even spotted all the little things in himself that the others had instinctively known and used against him all those years ago.   
  
Jack closed his eyes and tilted his head back, almost arching into Ianto's touch, following his fingers' light trails. “I wish I could show them what I've seen, what I've felt. That they have so much to look forward to, to live for. That there are so many wonderful people in this world who will love and accept them for who they are, not what they do in their bedroom.”   
  
Ianto could feel his sight blurring a little and blinked it away furiously. To love and accept him for who he was, that was what Jack and Tosh and Owen and Gwen had done, he had found a place where he could simply  _be_ , where any teasing was usually about his tidiness or coffee rather than his sex life. He couldn't, he wouldn't, let Jack ever see how much that meant to him because it would mean admitting he had never felt it before.   
  
“I wish I could just go up to them, grab them by the shoulders and say, hey, kid, you know what? It sucks right now, it really does, but guess what?  _It gets better._  It does.” Opening his eyes again, Jack looked at Ianto and tried to hide his surprise at the vulnerable look on Ianto's face. Twisting his arm up from Ianto's back, he brushed his thumb over Ianto's cheek softly, trying to read the emotions in those eyes.    
  
Jack had never experienced true maliciousness until he joined the time agency, had never had to put up with bullying or insults at school about anything more serious than his inability to stay awake in exobiology class. He had been an adult before he came across real hatred, his sheltered youth not really preparing him for it but by then he had the self confidence and sheer belief in himself to get through it. He was already finished, already  _him_  by the time anyone attacked him for it and he didn't give a damn what anyone else thought.   
  
It had somehow never occurred to him that with all the advances he had seen over the past hundred years, with all the gain they had made by the time he was born, that Ianto might not have been so lucky.   
  
“It does, I promise.” Jack whispered, resting his forehead against Ianto's.   
  
“I know, Jack.” Ianto smiled slightly and pulled back, forcing Jack to look at him properly, the pain gone and only hope shining through now. “I  _know_ .” Taking Jack's hand in his, he stepped back, leading him towards the door.   
  
“Where... Where are we going?” Ianto let go long enough to snag their coats, helping Jack into his before slipping on his own but then quickly taking his hand again.   
  
“Out. I'm taking you to dinner, then maybe for a walk in the moonlight. And then I think I will kiss you under the stars, probably somewhere along the boardwalk.”   
  
Jack grinned in surprise at Ianto's fingers intertwined in his and shook his head slightly. “But, why?”   
  
Grinning back, Ianto dragged him out of the Hub, not saying another word until they were heading out of the Tourist Information office. Jack loosened his grip, waiting for Ianto to pull away as usual, then looked down as he realised Ianto's fingers were still there, still wrapped in his. In public. Pulling him closer, he looked into Ianto's eyes and his smile softened, curious.   
  
“Why?”   
  
Squeezing Jack's hand, Ianto smiled back and shrugged carelessly. “Because I can. Because it does get better and if seeing us together helps convince another kid that he can hold on a little longer then I want the whole world to see.”   
  
“The whole world huh?”   
  
“Yep.”   
  
As they walked to the steps, Jack couldn't resist a slight dig. “What about your sister?” The dig of nails into his hand made him grin even more as Ianto tugged him towards the steps.    
  
“One step at a time, Jack. First we face the whole world. THEN my sister...”


End file.
